My Love

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all~Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I loved you yesterday.  I love you today.  And I will love you every tomorrow. 

You came into my life unknowlingly fifteen years ago and have always been in my heart.  There was never more than a few days that went by without thoughts of you.  Then that fateful day, I mustered enough courage to send you a note asking you to call.

I could only imagine the thoughts that flooded through your mind that day.  Why, after all these years, would I try to reach out to you?  My only hopes were that you would forgive me of the past pains that I had caused and allow me to earn your trust and love once again.

Thank you for calling and giving me the chance to once again hear your voice.  Only this time, the sound is so much sweeter.

We spoke several times prior to my visit on that late Valentine’s night.  The thoughts that were rushing through my mind as I drove down to meet you are mere ghosts now.  But the moment I saw you, all the feelings I had ever had for you, came rushing back.  Oh, how I wanted to hold you and never let you go.

That night came and went all too sudden.  However, I left knowing that if there were never another moment to be had between us, we both understood the love we held for each other.  I’ll never forget how passionate the love we made, for it’s a feeling I’ve felt with no other.

Conclusion

This I-Search has led me down many different paths but I always came back to the nagging question of why so many can not see beyond the color of another’s skin. Why can’t we see each other as colorful human beings and embrace the talents and knowledge that each of us behold?  We should be here for the betterment of each other and to treat each other with respect and dignity.

I’m not sure that I truly expected to find a definite answer but I was able to better understand that racism in this country, compared with the measurement of time, is still very young and it will take time to resolve these issues. One good example is that of slavery.  It is not that far removed from the memories of our relatives. There are people alive today that had grandparents or distance relatives working as slaves. As with most issues that bring negative feelings, with a little help from everyone time will heal.

I have come to believe that most people that show racism were raised with this belief. At an earlier time, people were taught to keep to themselves and not to venture out of their comfort zone. This I-Search has allowed me to discover that people do not wish to be racist but have allowed it to be carried from one generation to the next.  I could have been a very good example because of my mother, but I chose not to.  So now I am left with another question, why did I choose not to be a racist as my mother did?

Critique 5 – Obama’s Race Should Not Matter?

Jay Tolson states that Barack Obama stands for a new kind of politics. Obama does not play on his race nor show support to special interest groups. He is clearly sending a message of unity as a nation and change for the common good of all people.

As stated in the article, “Does Obama’s Winning Streak Prove that Race Doesn’t Matter?” what is it “…that makes so many Americans believe it is possible to govern the nation differently”? Tolson feels that Obama’s background of a black Kenyan father and a white Kansas mother supports his struggle as an African American and gives him a better understanding of the particularities of race. Although, Tolson later quotes Shelby Steele, a fellow at the Hoover Institution, as saying that “Obama chose blackness” as a way to connect with his absent father and that his “cultivation of blackness” led him to deny the values by which his mother raised him.

It is evident that Obama is not taking on a civil rights movement but may be entrapped in race politics anyway by his involvement as a community organizer on the South side of Chicago and through his church affiliation. Tolson feels that ultimately Obama’s message and appeal will weaken due to identity politics and Steele suggests that this will hold Obama back.

Obama, for the most part, has been able to distance himself from old leadership such as Jesse Jackson. Tolson claims that critics feel that Obama has gone too far by not taking on a more issue driven movement. It is safe to say that Obama is trying to appeal to a broader range of people. “It may not be the best choice, but a necessary one”, says Julian Bond, chairman of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.

Many Americans are ready for a change and most are receptive to Obama’s message for unity of a nation and change for the good of all. He has shown great courage not to bring race into the political spotlight and to use it as a crutch as others have in the past. So how does one break away from their identity and not lose the very ones they identify with?

Steele claimed that Obama cultivated blackness and denied the values in which his mother raised him. However, I feel every family (black or white) tries to instill a great work ethic and personal responsibility to each of their children. Just because one tends to gravitate towards the opposite race, sex, religion or values does not mean that have denied the other. That is what’s so great about America; we have the right to choose.

As hard as it is to stay focused on the nation as a whole, I do feel the Obama will be judged by his personal commitments to his community and church. Obama is as human as the rest of us and of course he will affiliate with the ones that he identifies with most. However, he is cautious not to bring his personal and private life into political atmosphere. Although, he has not outright discussed issues of discrimination and poverty, these issues will always sit on the back burner of American along with the war in Iraq.

This article did bring some insight into how Obama is focused on the campaign and how he chooses to distance himself from the older leadership that would prefer him to take a more outward stance on discrimination. I feel that Obama has taken the safest course in his campaign. He wants to win with everyone and not just one group of people. However, my question was not answered with this article.
Why can’t we see each other as colorful human beings and embrace the talents and knowledge that each of us behold? We should be here for the betterment of each other.

Critique 4 – Why Does a Candidate’s Race Seem To Matter?

This question was posed by Jack Citrin, Donald Green and David Sears in their abstract “White Reactions to Black Candidates: When Does Race Matter”. They reviewed the roles of race in four different elections involving biracial and same race candidates. They came to a conclusion that the impact of one’s race is not the sole factor in determining the outcome of an election.

Several factors were discussed and brought forward in the four elections reviewed. The most common element that seemed to trigger negative sentiment was the candidate’s prior record towards favorable black needs and demands. However, a candidate’s personal qualities seemed to outweigh the resentment felt about the favoritism towards racial minorities.

The racial attitudes were found to be no stronger in biracial contests than in those contests without any black candidates. When little or no information is shared about the candidate’s views, race seems to play more of a role in voting intentions. When black candidates do not show a partisan anchor, they “… are often stereotyped as liberals who are favorable to ‘big’ government, ‘soft’ on crime, and so forth.”

I found this abstract very difficult to follow due to the multiple comprehensive analyses. I do agree that there is more to the voter’s intentions than just the race of a candidate. Most of us tend to judge the candidates by their prior successes and failures with no regard to race. So why do most biracial elections still show the most favorable candidate to be white?

This question was never fully explained, but the abstract did go into some detail about how black candidates will mobilize their communities when the conditions of the government seem to be unfair. Generally, this type of mobilization is quite successful when there is a large growth in the black population.

Another issue I found troubling about this abstract was the written explanations was not congruent with the actual information given in the survey. The writers often picked out the information to make the abstract bend towards the black/white issue, when in fact the surveys also included information about Hispanics.

Critique 3 – White is not the only angry race

Gary Hubbell makes a good analysis of a lot of people that I know, however, I don’t agree on the title of his article, “In election 2008, don’t forget Angry White Man”.  Mr. Hubbell claims that everyone should be on a level playing field and making their own way.  He feels that even the Constitution is open to interpretation by judges that “…have never worked an honest day in their lives”.  The Constitution is being amended on a daily basis to suit the argument of the day to ease the burden of the few that feel as though they are being treated unfairly.

Mr. Hubbell goes on to say that the Angry White Man cannot be defined by one ethnic group alone.  The Angry White Man might be one of many ethnic backgrounds with different avenues of pleasurable activities, such as golf; hunting deer; watching football; playing poker or enjoying a trip to the strip club.  These men work for a living and pay their fair share in taxes, if not more.    

The Angry White Man, as Hubbell describes, is “pissed off” because their jobs are being sent overseas, illegal aliens are flooding the job sites with low demands for salary and not paying any taxes, and when calling for technical support one can never get a technician of American descent that speaks English as their first language.  No the Angry White Man cannot be considered a racist; he’s just tired of the way people behave in certain stereotypes.

Mr. Hubbell attempts to marginalize that every white man loathes Hillary Clinton for supporting the victim’s groups and for representing the “poor me” attitude.  He also asserts that she can never give “…a straight answer to an honest question”.  Therefore, every Angry White Man will vote against Ms. Clinton. 

As stated in the beginning, I do not agree with Mr. Hubbell’s title because it’s just not White Men that are angry.  There is a person, be it man or woman, in every race, creed, or color that is fed up with the laziness of some in society.  The majority of folks do get out and bust their butts to make a living, while others feed off of society, generation after generation.  Not every person complains to Capitol Hill and expects the laws to be changed to make an exception for them to receive a job that they made not be qualified for.  No, there are those that get the message and retrains to meet the needs of an employer or they may even work two to three jobs in order to support their family instead of calling on the government to feed them.

The Angry White Man is not made up of just one race, but Mr. Hubbell insinuates so by describing the activities that these men would enjoy as that typical of a general white man.  Mr. Hubbell describes the background of an Angry White Man as being multi-ethnical.   However, I do not believe that someone of “Cherokee, Mexican or Puerto Rican” descent would consider themselves as a white American.

How can Mr. Hubbell assume that every white man agrees with him?  Based on the assumption that every white man loathes Hillary Clinton, Mr. Hubbell should take another look because she is getting support from someone.  I was looking for a more relative analysis among the candidates running for President.  But Mr. Hubbell clearly directed his attention to one certain group of voters and only one candidate, Mrs. Clinton.  So I will go on in my search of “Why do some feel that we are not ready for a black president”.

Critique 2 – Who’s responsible for our retirement?

Donald Haas writes in his article, “A Wake-Up Call for the Financial Services Industry: Re-inventing Financial Aging”, that the financial service industry must become more aware of the fact that more and more older Americans have amassed a sizeable amount wealth and need advice on investing for retirement.  Haas discusses the different life expectancy tables that are used by different industries and how none have been able to accurately predict any one’s life expectancy.  With the unpredictability of assessing one’s life time, it is impossible for any industry to predict how much a person will need upon retirement. 

Not only does this industry need to know how long a person will live, it also needs to know what other sources of income will be available to that individual.  Haas states, “When President Roosevelt signed the original Social Security law in 1935, the statistical reports stated that a newborn could expect to live 61.4 years”.  We all are aware there are a great number of people over the age of 65 still living today.  With that in mind what about the Social Security Trust Fund, will it still be in existence?  Although everyone is in agreement that Social Security is in need of an overhaul, no one can agree upon the time to get it done and the longer we wait, the greater the repercussions.  Even if the financial services industry could make the prediction of life expectancy, other important factors must be considered, the cost of medical expenses, inflation and how active will the person be. 

Inflation is another factor that cannot be accurately predicted.  Haas refers to Ibbotson Associates’ 2004 Yearbook, Stocks, Bonds, Bills and Inflation that over the past twenty year s the rate of inflation has pretty much remained a t 3 percent, but that rate cannot be expected to stay the same.  Haas says when looking over the past fifty years, inflation has ranged from +0.4 percent to +12.2 percent. 

The baby boomers of today are at the age of retirement and Haas believes most do not have a great amount of knowledge for investing.  With the baby boomers coming into retirement age, it doesn’t leave much time to invest for their future.  Therefore, the financial services industry must come up with a plan for the late bloomers.

I have always been taught to be responsible for myself and to prepare for the future.  So why does Haas believe that these late bloomers must be given the tools to prepare themselves for retirement?  The tools are already out there, it’s up to the individual to use them wisely.  There is constant advertisement on TV and radio about investment groups.  The internet provides an enormous amount of material for anyone interested.  Again, what must this industry do, take the person by the hand and lead them to financial security? 

I do agree that there must be more educational material available and it should also be stressed that we all need to be more proactive in the decisions made regarding our retirement. Why do most people feel that the government is responsible for seeing that we are provided for?  What happened to the pride in providing for ourselves?  Sure the government set up the Social Security Trust Fund, but it was never meant to be the sole provider of income in retirement, just a supplement. 

The learning of retirement should start from a very early age and taught continuously throughout school.  I remember taking Economics in high school and the teacher gave each of us a certain amount of pretend money to splurge on the stock market.  Over a period of time we were to buy and track our chosen stock over a period of time to see if we gained or lost our money.  That was a very valuable lesson and it gave me an opportunity that otherwise would not have been learned.  My parents were not investors.  They believed that you should literally “sock” the money away for emergencies.  With the lessons learned in high school, I’ve taken advantage of playing the stock market with a mixed outcome.   

Haas provided a lot of useful information about how the financial services industry tries to set someone on a path to a successful retirement.  But all in all, it’s still up the individual to see it through.  The young people of today are in a state of what can I get now and don’t realize what can they put away for tomorrow.

Critique 1 – Infanticide

In the New York Times article, “Why They Kill Their Newborns”, the author, Steven Pinker attempts to make sense of why mothers kill their children.  Pinker states that neonaticide has been practiced throughout history and the women usually do not show any signs of illness.  However, mothers that kill their older children often show signs of depression, psychosis or suicide.  Young mothers tend to kill due to fear of getting into trouble or they may be isolated, unmarried or have no way of supporting the child.  Pinker goes on to suggest that the disparity of the justice system between mothers that kill after birth and those that kill their older children may be because we feel that infants have yet to develop a personhood, the right not to be killed.  Mothers who kill their older children often face much harsher sentences.  Pinker does state the obvious, “that we need a clear boundary to confer personhood on a human being and grant it a right to life.”

Bruce Chapman responds in his article, “A Modest Proposal: Should We Change Our Minds About Infanticide?”, that Steven Pinker is justifying the killing of newborns and insinuating that it is nature’s way.  Chapman feels that Pinker is changing the meaning of words to shift opinions without one realizing it, as in Pinker’s reference of Phillip Resnick in splitting infanticide into two different categories of neonaticide, the killing of a baby on the day of its birth, and filicide, the killing of a child older than one day.  Chapman feels that we have evolved enough to adjust our morals and understand that infants do possess significant traits to demand the right to life.

Chapman responds to Pinker’s article in a negative and slanting way to suggest that Pinker supports infanticide.  He neither supports nor opposes these issues.  Pinker does not believe that we should forgive these mothers, but to understand what brought them to the point of killing their own children.  Pinker also explains how society reacts differently to mothers that kill their newborns and those that kill their older children.  There should be no disparity in the punishment in either mother.  These infants and children are still human beings and no matter how old, they all deserve the right to live. 

Why are so many people falling into financial ruin?

I know that most adults are responsible with their finances.  But why are we hearing so much about the mortgage crisis today?  The banks have lured the public into buying these extravagant houses with these so-called teaser rates, which normally would be way out of the average working person’s budget.   

Once they have purchased these homes, they are compelled to “keep up with the Jones” which adds to their debt.  With the payments being in the manageable range at first, they no doubt feel they have the extra income to afford a new car, maybe a Jacuzzi or pool.   

Then BAM!, the floor drops and the interest rates climb.  The homeowner is unable to manage the mortgage payment that has nearly doubled and they are left scrambling to make ends meet. 

Who is to blame for this mess, the banks for enticing them in the first place or the public?  I say both.  The banks know the risk they are taking and generally, most banks are federally insured so they’re not going to lose but so much.  The public is to blame also.  Before we sign a contract, everything is spelled out in black and white.  Most of the time you are made aware of the specifics before you sign.  If not, you’re provided a certain amount of time to review the contract before it takes effect.   

As in the case above, the buyer’s know the risk of the interest rates increasing.  So why not start looking for a better rate from the very beginning? 

Another issue I have with the banking system is the constant bombardment of credit card applications that is being thrown at our young adults.  The kids have very little or no experience with finances.  But yet, they’re expected to take on these credit cards and manage the payments with little to no income.  They begin to borrow from one card to pay another and eventually, they’re credit is ruined, possibly forever. 

So what can we do?  We need to become active with our legislature to help prevent the crisis that we are in today.   

The opposing view of equality.

There are those that do not agree that everyone is equal.  These persons have been taught this at home or may have a bad experience through a relationship and created this stereotype based on that one moment.

I do have somewhat of an experience from home.  Although I consider myself to be non-biased, my mother is not.  She allowed me to have my freedoms when growing up but I later learned that she had her differences.  She has stated that blacks do not belong in her house, nor at her dinner table.  As of recent, she made the comment that it isn’t time for a black president.  When does she feel the time is right? 

I have come to believe that she was raised with this belief.  At the time of her upbringing, people were taught to keep to themselves and not to venture out of their comfort zone.  Change cannot occur if we do not leave this comfort zone and without change there is no progress.

I believe that people are created equal.

As a small child, I grew up in a predominately black neighborhood.  I forged many great friendships with the neighborhood children and still maintain those relationships today.  I appreciate my mother for allowing me to spend time with these great folks.  And better yet, to have had the experience of sitting at their dinner table.  Oh the times eating Ms. Bobbie’s home cooked meals, now that is what I call the good ole times.  Ms. Bobbie never turned a child away.

In the days of my early childhood, I can honestly say that I had never experienced racism.  My days were filled with going to school with my friends and anticipating the arrival at home so we could go out to play.  The first inkling came when I entered my freshman year in high school.  I did not come from a very large town but my boundaries were very limited.  That first year consisted of daily fights between the whites and blacks.  I did not understand where all of this hatred was coming from and today it still rests uneasy with me.

How can anyone feel that another human being does not rate the same equalities as they?  Where do these feelings manifest?  Is it an experience the person had with the opposite color or is it bred at home?